Ugly
by OnTheBrinkOfInsanity
Summary: "How can you be happy looking like that?" they say. "Jerome deserves better." they say.


**Hey people, enjoy!**

Six times now. On six different occasions, I have been called ugly.

"How can you be happy looking like that?" they say. "Jerome deserves better." they say.

The first time really stung. Bad enough for me to cry.

_"Oh, Mara! I feel so sorry for!" Sierra Manresa mocked, hand on heart. She sat across from me in the library. God knows what she was doing in there - I was surprised she could read anything other than fashion magazines._

_"What?"_

_Sierra gave me a sickly sweet smile. "You're so... __**ugly**__. I wish I could do something._

_I flinched, closing my book and getting up. I ran all the way back to Anubis._

_Brushing past Trudy, I locked myself in my room, finally letting myself cry._

Since then, I've done my best to block them out. It's hard, I won't lie. Having someone point out every flaw of yours, affects you in ways nobody understands.

Although, I haven't really told anyone what I'm feeling. There's a tiny voice in the back of my head telling me that I should, that I need to vent. For a reason that's unknown to me, I do my best to block it out.

The next morning came around and I woke up with a strange feeling in my stomach. I _didn't _want to go to school. For any other teenager, that'd be normal but I'm Mara Jaffray. I love school.

I got myself ready and, hesitantly, stood in front of the mirror. It's different now when I look at my reflection; as if it's in high definition. My skin seems more blemished my lips thin and dry. My eyes look plain and boring and my nose oddly shaped. Last of all, my hair. My scraggly, dull black, ugly hair.

The knock at the door forced me to tear my eyes away from the disappointment I was staring at. To my relief, it was Jerome.

Before greeting, he ducked down and kissed me, lightly grazing my lips.

'Thin and dry.'

"Hello to you too." I said, smiling up at him and retrieving my bag.

I could hear the cockiness in his voice when he said, "Oh, but you much preferred that, didn't you?"

A blush spread across my cheeks, coloring them slightly.

'Probably looks even worse now.' I thought to myself

I hit his arm lightly, closing the door behind us. "Let's go, Jaffray." he said, slinging an arm around me.

Everyone was already down so Jerome and I took our seats, murmuring "Good morning's" and "Hello's".

I sat in silence while Jerome engaged in a conversation with Alfie. Watching my food. Starving myself was never an option since I'd learnt about a lot of eating disorders and didn't want that to happen to me.

"Mara," Jerome startled me, even though he was whispering. "Are you alright?"

I looked up at him. "Yeah, of course." I lied.

"You're a bit quiet."

I smiled at how considerate he was being and reassured him before getting up. "I'm going to leave early." I announced to no one in particular, smiling and leaving the table.

Jerome followed after me, still not convinced that I was alright.

"I'm just tired, that's all." He looked into my eyes for traces of illness.

'Plain and boring.' a voice rang in my head. It was my voice.

"Jerome, seriously." I said, holding his hand. "I'm fine."

"Ok, if you're sure." he gave in, kissing my nose. I smiled, wrapping an arm around his waist as he slung one around my shoulders, giving me a sense of warmth.

"I am." I whispered.

I'm not.

"Oh look, it's Mara." Sierra announced to two of her friends.

I was walking the corridors alone, minding my own business. Jerome had a class on the other side of school, as did Amber, Joy and Patricia.

I winced, hearing her high pitched voice and continued walking. They caught up to me. Just my luck.

Tillie and Naomi smirked at me, standing behind Sierra.

"How've you been doing?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "Did Jerome finally break up with you?"

"No." I said quietly, not looking at her.

"You're lying." she insisted, looking to her minions for back up.

"Yeah, Jerome could do, like, so much better." Tillie, the ditzy blonde, said.

"How do you know he's not already cheating?" Naomi raised an eyebrow.

Sierra scoffed, "I wouldn't blame him."

I opened my mouth to retaliate but, before I could, all three of them stared out behind me. Turning around, I wasn't surprised to see one of the many jocks that paraded around school yet didn't even know the alphabet properly.

"Joshie," Sierra called, strutting over to him. Tillie and Naomi followed, thankfully.

I carried on to my lesson, trying my best to forget what they had said. Jerome would never cheat on me.

_Never. Never. Never._ I chanted the whole way.

However hard I tried, I found it near impossible to concentrate in Math's. My mind kept wandering off to other things. Jerome. Sierra. Naomi's theory.

And, the more I thought about it, the more I started believing them. Jerome _could _do better than me. This ultimately meant that I was being incredibly selfish, tying him down.

That's how I came to the conclusion of breaking up with him. I tried drilling into my head that it was the right thing. No mater how much it hurt.

The art of letting go. I can't do it. Even after twenty minutes of practicing on Mr. Tubbs the teddy bear, I cannot face Jerome.

I took some deep breaths, telling myself that I have plenty of time.

"Mara," Jerome knocked at the door. Ha-ha, plenty of time.

I sighed, getting up to open the door. On the other side of it, Jerome stood leaning against the doorframe. He was wearing a white button-up shirt and his hair was somehow different. The look in his blue eyes told me that he had something planned.

"We're going on a date." he said, grabbing my hand and lead me out of the room.

"Jerome," I couldn't help but laugh as I was dragged down the stairs. "I'm not even dressed."

He looked back at me, his blue eyes sparkling. "You always look perfect."

My smile faltered; he lied to me.

Allowing myself to be lead around, we wandered the woods. Until, eventually, we came to a clearing. The trees loomed over a little grassy patch if ground. Already laid out, was a green and white blanket. A basket, half open, sat at the side, an assortment of baguettes and fruits. In the middle was a candle, the orange flame flickered and illuminated the beautiful scene.

A gasp escaped my lips as I took it all in. It was so beautiful and thoughtful; how was I meant break up with him now.

"Well, are you going to join me?" I hadn't realized that Jerome was already seated.

I blinked, hesitantly moving forward to sit opposite him.

"Jerome," I sighed.

"Wh-what's wrong? Don't you like it?" he cut in, worry laced in his voice.

"No, no! I love it," I could see his shoulders relax. "It's just..."

_Do it quick. _I told myself. _It'll hurt less._

"I don't want to go out with you anymore." I said in one breath.

The look on his face was enough to break my heart.

"W... what? Wh-why are you... I d-" he stammered, his eyes watering slightly.

I got up, brushing my legs. "You can do better." I muttered and walked away.

Once deeper in the forest, I ran. Not caring where I was going, I went as fast as my legs would go. Somehow, I ended up back at Anubis.

I flung the door open, running up the stairs and into my room. By now, the tears were falling freely. Unfortunately, Patricia was in there, listening to music on her bed.

I ignored her, running straight to the bathroom. I grabbed the first thing that I set eyes on which happened to be a toothbrush, and swung forward at the mirror.

It cracked diagonally through the middle, as did my reflection.

"Mara! What the hell is-" she gasped, seeing the mirror and my red face.

Letting out a choked sob, I resumed 'stabbing' the glass, pricking my fingers and hands with the shard glass. I was bleeding and it hurt but I didn't stop. Patricia tried to grab my arms but I pushed her away.

If Jerome hadn't turned up and pulled me away from the scene, I don't know what would've happened.

"Mara, Mara! What was that? Oh my God! There's so much blood!" he rambled.

Escaping his grasp, I fell to the floor, crying into my blood-stained hands. Jerome came down on his knees in front of me.

"Hey, hey." he said softly, moving my hands away from my face. "What's all this about?"

I looked up at him, seeing the genuine worry in his eyes. "I'm ugly." I choked out.

"What?" Jerome gasped in shock, moving some hair from my face. "You're not ugly." he whispered.

I nodded, stubbornly. "I am. I am."

Wiping the tears from my face, he moved forwards, enveloping me in his arms. "You are beautiful, Mara Jaffray. And don't you forget it."

I cried harder, burying my head in the crook of his neck and breathing in his scent.

"You're beautiful, beautiful." he murmured into my hair.

And after a while, I started to believe him.

**Thanks for reading! And to those of you who read it, I shall update Dear Mya... soon. I just need some inspiration. Until then, any prompts for one shots?**

**Reviews are appreciated... :)**


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